Leslie David Baker was in both The Office and Malcolm in the Middle. Obviously this means that Stanley needed to buy a toaster. You may think that the toaster is obviously for Roy and Pam’s wedding, but you’d be wrong. Stanley’s wife Teri had gotten onto a health food kick and would only make soups for dinner, but refused to make grilled cheese to go with them. Stanley had to create his own grilled cheese toaster by hollowing out the center of a normal toaster and heating the sandwich on its side.
Jim Rash was in both Community and Captain America: Civil War. Obviously this means that Dean Pelton was so successful and acclaimed by the dean community for his work at Greendale, turning it from a struggling community college into a struggling junior college, that as soon as his time at Greendale was over, MIT was quick to recruit him as their new dean. He took some of the business acumen he developed at Greendale to invent the self cooking hot dog, which he would go on to follow with a self cooking hamburger (The Manburger, bring your own buns), self spreading peanut butter (Butt Spread), and finally his most successful, the self grilling grilled cheese (Sloppy Cheeser).
Jon Hamm was in both 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation. Obviously this means that after Dr. Drew’s bubble burst and he was disbarred as a doctor (or whatever doctors get, disboarded?), he went to work for Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation S6E20 since he had heard through the Incompetence Interconnection Interface that she would not fire anyone for incompetence, not even the legendary Gerry Gergich (the III, pronounced iii, provides a network through which incompetent workers can share their successes).
Josh Gad was in both New Girl and Beauty and the Beast. Obviously this means that Bear Claw fell at work due to Nick and Schmidt’s poor safety policies (they tried to get True American to catch on in the bar, an admirable cause but it ended up getting beer spilled in the bathroom and Bearclaw fell because of it).
He opened his eyes to find himself in Rococo era France as LeFou, Gaston’s best friend in the world. It all seemed so familiar to Bearclaw, a huge Beauty and the Beast fan, that he was going to go with it and just live the life. Until, that is, he noticed that Gaston didn’t break a belt by flexing his neck.
The spell was broken and Bearclaw realized the world was all a shenanigan, he wasn’t LeFou and he wasn’t living in a magical world with talking dishes, so he woke up and went back to work.
Steve Carrel was in both The Office and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Obviously this means that Brick Tamland went into hiding after police started their investigation into a brutal spear murder. He fled east and didn’t stop until he saw the Dunder Mifflin sign. Brick was hungry and thought it said Dunder Muffin. Unsure of what flavor a dunder muffin was, he stopped in to try one and accidentally applied for a job under the name on his fake ID, Michael Scott. That’s the story of how Brick Tamland became the best damn paper salesman and boss the world of Dunder Mifflin Scranton had ever seen.
Michael Imperioli was in both The Office and The Sopranos. Obviously this means that Christufah went on the lam after he murdered seven people when he found out that the subway Italian sub doesn’t come with provolone. Christufah used his extensive knowledge of martial arts he learned by bashing heads and became a 10th don black belt in the ancient gabagool mortadel style of karate. He appreciated Dwight’s dedication to karate and recognized Dwights unflinching and thoughtless devotion to his boss, seeing something of himself in his student. Seeing a true don in Dwight, he gave Dwight his black belt in The Office s9e21.
Jim Rash was in both Community and Friends. Obviously this means that Dean Pelton was planning to move to Paris to pursue a lucrative career combining his love for costumes with miming, becoming the world’s first mimetumer. He was on Rachel’s flight in S10E18 The Last One: Part 2 when she found out there was no philange on the plane and warned him. Dean ran off of the plane for his safety and found himself lost, without a plan and with nothing to fall back on. Lost, Dean decided he would do the old timey thing and make his name into an aptronym.
June Diane Raphael was in both New Girl and The League. Obviously this means that before she finished med school and came out of the closet, Sadie struggled with her feelings about men. She was confused for a while and thought that she hated men, so when she tried out torturing them with electroshock therapy as Pam, Raffi and Dirty Randy’s Nurse Ratchet in The League s6e4, she was surprised to find that it didn’t satisfy her. She figured out that she didn’t hate men, she just didn’t find herself attracted to them romantically. You know what they say: it’s always the last place you look.
Brian Huskey was in both Parks and Recreation and Veep. Obviously this means that Leon West was inappropriately labeled a sex offender for having sex with a dog under the age of eighteen. Leon was upset that he was labeled so even though dogs age seven times as fast as people, so a dog who is two years seven months old is technically eighteen. Besides, if the stimulation is manual and for the sole purpose of a holistic baldness treatment, it is ridiculous to label someone a sex offender just because the act was in full view of a playground during Pawnee’s annual Look In The Neighbor’s Window Day. Leon was so upset about this injustice that he dedicated himself to embarrassing every politician for every minor slip up of their career.
Nelson Franklin was in both New Girl and Veep. Obviously this means that Robby was so destroyed by Jess’ rejection that he no longer valued himself in any way as a human being. He sought out fulfillment as a dunk tank victim, a puddle bridger who dove into puddles so that rich ladies didn’t have to step in them, a punching bag filler, and a vomit mopper at a frat house, but he couldn’t find any job that made him feel worthless enough to satisfy him, until he met Roger Furlong. Roger Furlong liked the name Robby too much and his mom once dated a guy named Will who smelled like cheese and didn’t buy him a hotdog when they went to a baseball game, causing Furlong to hate the name Will for many years. Robby legally changed his name to Will so that Roger Furlong could properly hate him.