Andre Braugher was in both New Girl and Brooklyn 99. Obviously this is because Captain Holt takes the “to protect and serve” motto seriously and sees himself as the city’s representative. He used his extensive knowledge of the human psyche to nudge Jess along the path to realizing that she didn’t hate New York, she just associated it with a really hard point in her life, but one that also led to all the good times she had in The Loft. Still unsure if Jess was going to regard New York City in a good light, he gave her his Ling’s palace lunch.
David Hornsby was in both It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia and New Girl. Obviously this means that Rickety Cricket a pseudonym used by Ed Warner, an IRS agent who sends his son to Jess’ school and is under deep cover in Philadelphia to get to the bottom of Frank Reynolds’ 1998 taxes, where he claimed three children a dependents while he had only claimed two in other years. He is pretty sure that he’s close to the bottom of this and that Frank knew about Charlie a long time ago and began supporting his child but then decided against it shortly afterwards.
Kate Flannery was in both The Office and New Girl. Obviously this means that after Dundee Mifflin fired her for sexual misconduct, harassment, assault, and hotdogging with/ of several coworkers, Meredith Palmer dedicated herself to the one field where sexual harassment is not only prevalent, but encouraged: politics. She was on the Clinton campaign when Schmidt taught them how to organize envelopes. After spending years outside of the business world, she hadn’t seen a loper like him in a long time. He brought up something she hadn’t felt in a long time, and she spent months trying to find him, forgetting about her responsibilities to the Clinton campaign and possibly causing the strategic mistakes that led to… well, you know.
Slow Hand was in both Bob’s Burgers and Top 40 Radio.
Obviously this means that Dr. Yap was so bent out of shape because he no longer had the respect and adoration of his fraternity that he commissioned a song to get his nickname on everyone’s minds. The cheesy sex song had a twofold job. 1: to get his name associated with lovemaking for the fraternity so that they would consider him a god again. 2: to get his name associated with lovemaking with the ladies, because everyone knows that as soon as a lady associated your name with sex, she is 78% more likely to have sex with you. One of the ways to accomplish this is to follow her into a movie theater and when there is a steamy scene in the movie, yell your own name out repeatedly. Another is to commission a song about sex that uses your name.
Amy Sedaris was in 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Obviously this means that after Mimi’s divorce, she went back to northern Florida because that’s where she lived years ago as a crab catcher before she met her husband who showed her how to be a rich New York socialite and even paid for the extensive tattoo removal she had because rich New Yorkers don’t drive, so they don’t have any reason to drive shirtless. Her boyfriend jumped into the shark’s mouth because he was a huge Greg Norman fan and thought that would be the best way to meet him.
Paul Scheer is in both Veep and The league. Obviously this means that Andre has a thing for Jane McCabe so he traded free plastic surgery for a job as a producer on CBS This Morning so he could spend a lot of time with her seeing him in a place of authority, since it’s an established fact that 78% of women are more likely to get romantically involved with a man if she sees him as a figure of authority.
Justin Hartley is in This Is Us and Spring Breakdown. Obviously this means that he hasn’t gotten over his love of Judi and everything she taught him. All of his relationships have suffered because he compares everyone, even family, to her and nobody provides a connection that compares to the carnal one he had with her, where their two bodies became one and their two hearts became two, because if there was one heart for both of them, both of them would probably die, that is considerably more than you can trust a heart to do.
Lea Thompson was in both Back To The Future and Caroline In The City. Obviously this means that in one of the alternate timelines, one of the several where she forced millions of young boys to come to the conclusion that moms are women, like real women, like real women with lady stuff, she left Marty with George and left Hill Valley to pursue her dream of becoming a cartoonist.
Jonathan Slavin is in both Better Off Ted and Dr. Ken. Obviously this means that Veridian Dyanmics closed down following a brief spat with the government over an unplanned pregnancy of a mountain. That was actually a happy accident that resulted in over 150,000 square kilometers of new land, allowing the United States to overtake Canada as the second largest nation in the world, but the politicians couldn’t see the icing on the cake and were all upset over minutiae and short term setbacks like “lost lives” and “altering the geography of the world.” Phile was the architect of the mountain pregnancy and decided he needed to move to a job with less possibility of destroying the world and more opportunity to help people, so he became a nurse and took a job with Dr. Ken.
Lauren Tom was in both Friends and Futurama. Obviously this means that Julie decided to freeze herself cryogenically so that she could have the unique experience of providing first hand knowledge to her fellow paleontologists and help further the science with even more accurate dating rules. Having fixed paleontology, Julie couldn’t go anywhere without being mobbed by fans, so she changed her name to Amy Wong and started sciencing in other fields. She couldn’t find a man who filled her life the way Ross (and Russ) had, so she looked to other species and found Kip, who had all of the immasculine attributes she loved about Ross.