David Cross was in both Community and Arrested Development. Obviously this means that Tobias Fünke’s twin brother never saw the analrapist that Tobias always dreamed of as a child. The need for an analrapist changed Tobias’ life and altered his trajectory completely, inspiring him to become the greatest analrapist ever to analyze or therapyze children so that he could give them the help that his brother never got and could have saved his relationship with his father.
Tristram was in both Community and Diablo. Obviously this means that Tristram Steelhart, the mace wielding holy cleric roleplayed by Hank, Professor Hickey’s son (played by David Cross), was the last remaining grandchild of Deckard Cain (who named him after the town where his parents met). Deckard Cain raised Tristram Steelhart after his father was trapped in a soulstone accidentally (which Deckard always blamed himself for) and his mother died in childbirth because look at the place, there was no medical knowledge in Khanduras. Deckard Cain was killed when Tristram was just a boy and Tristram dedicated himself to avenging his grandfather’s death by killing all of the witch Adria’s followers and bringing fathers and sons back together.
John Krasinski and David Denman were in both The Office and 13 Hours. Obviously this means that Jim and Roy were patching things up and having a beer talking about (some of) the old times at Dunder Mifflin, reminiscing about Michael and Dwight and Darryl. They got lost in the stories and stayed a longer than they had intended, so when both heard about the assault in Libya at the same time, they looked across the table and said “let’s do it” and flew across the world immediately to save the day.
Yvette Nicole Brown was in both Community and The Office. Obviously this means that Shirley worked at Staples with Dwight so that she could learn the ins and outs of Dunder Mifflin from him. After having been rejected for a job by Michael because they “already had their sassy black one,” Shirley dedicated herself to taking down the company. After learning enough from Dwight in the one week that he worked with her at Staples, Shirley infiltrated the Camden, Yonkers, Buffalo, Utica, Nashua and Albany branches of Dunder Mifflin and drove them all to close down.
Andrew Friedman was in both It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and New Girl. Obviously this means that Charlie’s Uncle Jack was part of a set of triplets whose mother was shopping and took the last cart to hold her kids and was cursed by by a gypsy who said “you stole my shopping cart that’s shiny, now you’ll have a part that’s tiny.” Uncle Jack got small hands, his brother was cursed with small luck at timing and moved to LA and started a store at the wrong time and then dropped his stock of beanbags at the wrong time. Their sister (it’s the teens, women can be triplets now, leave your gender normativity in the aughts where it belongs) was cursed with a tiny head.
Andre Braugher was in both New Girl and Brooklyn 99. Obviously this is because Captain Holt takes the “to protect and serve” motto seriously and sees himself as the city’s representative. He used his extensive knowledge of the human psyche to nudge Jess along the path to realizing that she didn’t hate New York, she just associated it with a really hard point in her life, but one that also led to all the good times she had in The Loft. Still unsure if Jess was going to regard New York City in a good light, he gave her his Ling’s palace lunch.
David Hornsby was in both It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia and New Girl. Obviously this means that Rickety Cricket a pseudonym used by Ed Warner, an IRS agent who sends his son to Jess’ school and is under deep cover in Philadelphia to get to the bottom of Frank Reynolds’ 1998 taxes, where he claimed three children a dependents while he had only claimed two in other years. He is pretty sure that he’s close to the bottom of this and that Frank knew about Charlie a long time ago and began supporting his child but then decided against it shortly afterwards.
Kate Flannery was in both The Office and New Girl. Obviously this means that after Dunder Mifflin fired her for sexual misconduct, harassment, assault, and hotdogging with/ on/ at/ into several coworkers, Meredith Palmer dedicated herself to the one field where sexual harassment is not only prevalent, but encouraged: politics. She was on the Clinton campaign when Schmidt taught them how to organize envelopes. After spending years outside of the business world, she hadn’t seen a loper like him in a long time. He brought up something she hadn’t felt in a long time, and she spent months trying to find him, forgetting about her responsibilities to the Clinton campaign and possibly causing the strategic mistakes that led to… well, you know.
Slow Hand was in both Bob’s Burgers and Top 40 Radio.
Obviously this means that Dr. Yap was so bent out of shape because he no longer had the respect and adoration of his fraternity that he commissioned a song to get his nickname on everyone’s minds. The cheesy sex song had a twofold job. 1: to get his name associated with lovemaking for the fraternity so that they would consider him a god again. 2: to get his name associated with lovemaking with the ladies, because everyone knows that as soon as a lady associated your name with sex, she is 78% more likely to have sex with you. One of the ways to accomplish this is to follow her into a movie theater and when there is a steamy scene in the movie, yell your own name out repeatedly. Another is to commission a song about sex that uses your name.
Amy Sedaris was in 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Obviously this means that after Mimi’s divorce, she went back to northern Florida because that’s where she lived years ago as a crab catcher before she met her husband who showed her how to be a rich New York socialite and even paid for the extensive tattoo removal she had because rich New Yorkers don’t drive, so they don’t have any reason to drive shirtless. Her boyfriend jumped into the shark’s mouth because he was a huge Greg Norman fan and thought that would be the best way to meet him.