Nelson Franklin was in both New Girl and Veep. Obviously this means that Robby was so destroyed by Jess’ rejection that he no longer valued himself in any way as a human being. He sought out fulfillment as a dunk tank victim, a puddle bridger who dove into puddles so that rich ladies didn’t have to step in them, a punching bag filler, and a vomit mopper at a frat house, but he couldn’t find any job that made him feel worthless enough to satisfy him, until he met Roger Furlong. Roger Furlong liked the name Robby too much and his mom once dated a guy named Will who smelled like cheese and didn’t buy him a hotdog when they went to a baseball game, causing Furlong to hate the name Will for many years. Robby legally changed his name to Will so that Roger Furlong could properly hate him.
Alison Becker was in both Parks and Recreation and The League. Obviously this means that Shauna Mulwae-Tweep was run out of Pawnee after an article that mentioned a woman president of a company did not include the reassurance “(not of the United States)” after saying “President Amy Smith.” Suddenly ejected into a world that generally sees women as potential people of power, Shauna embraced her newfound agency and became a witch. She dated Pete briefly in The League S2E7.
T.J. Miller and Thomas Middleditch were in both The League and Silicon Valley. Obviously this means that before they went into tech, Richard and Erlich were in The Light of Genesis, the cult that Ruxin almost joined in The League S3E10. Richard and Erlich were desperately curious about their bodies and how they might fit together, and after they saw the way Kevin and Pete looked at each other, they finally succumbed to desire and kissed. They discovered that they were just curious and not really that into each other, but they were seen by their cult leader and excommunicated. With no religion to sell to people, they headed out west and landed in Silicon Valley, where they learned about programming and put that chapter of their lives behind them, although they both find themselves strangely erect whenever they hear hymns.
Dan Bakkedahl was in both 30 Rock and Veep. Obviously this means that Roger Furlong was taking his bratty, disappointing children on a tour of NBC in 30 Rock S1E18 when he hid from them so he could have just a nip of fresh air (Fresh Air® is a brand of gin sold in indiscreet little baggies that a parent can easily hide inside their wallet or purse and use when their hell spawn get a bit too hellish) in the dress rehearsal of an unaired roast of President Bush. He realized that politicians could say whatever they want and be as mean as they want to everyone they work with, so he quit his job as a Sunday school teacher and ran for congress in Ohio.
Chris Diamantopoulos was in both The Office and Silicon Valley. Obviously this means that after he had such a long career operating the boom mic for the Dunder Mifflin documentary, Brian had cash in his hand and a desire to do something with it. He looked around his apartment and saw two things: a boom mic he had stolen from the documentary company and a computer. That’s when it hit him. What if you could put sounds on the internet? Brian decided to go by his middle name, Russ, and invested heavily in putting radio onto the internet. With the money from his genius idea, he dedicated himself to two things: 1. he started an investment firm to help other people with awesome ideas make money off them, and 2. he hired the band Trapt to be his in house band that plays every time he gets out of bed or brings a girl home (that’s why you haven’t heard from them in a while).
Zach Woods was in both The Office and The League. Obviously this means that after Sabre shut down, Jared found himself without a raison d’être and after much soul searching and several failed attempts (Scarecrowing, artisinal soap dispensing, flash crowdsurfing) he realized that there were indigenous people who had no idea about DJing in The League S4E8 and dedicated himself to spreading the love of scratching to the world.
Kristen Schaal was in both How I Met Your Mother and 30 Rock. Obviously this means that Hazel Wassername was so downtrodden after losing Marshall and Lilly as best friends (couple segment) in How I Met Your Mother S3E11 that she considered leaving New York and returning to rural Virginia where she was a bit of a celebrity, being the first person in over 70 years from her town selected to be on a Jury. She decided to give it one last chance in the Big Apple, so she took a job at NBC and decided to be best friends with Liz Lemon in 30 Rock S7E10, figuring that if she can be so funny all the time, Liz must be a really nice, open, and friendly person.
Maggie Wheeler was in both How I Met Your Mother and Friends. Obviously this means that after she and Chandler Kiss in Friends S10E15, she realizes her whole life has been a sham and concocts an elaborate plan to get him back. She starts a French restaurant for Americans in Paris name Chez Americano and moves her family there, gets a good reputation, and convinces the Bing family to move to Paris. While there she tricks her husband and Monica into sleeping together not once (by giving Monica the wrong hotel room and taking all the lightbulbs out of the room), not twice (by attending a sexy silent costume party and switching dresses with Monica at the last minute), but three times (by setting up a live marionette style play to promote the restaurant in which all of the participants are controlled by strings from above and unable to stop what’s happening [Sid and Monica don’t actually have sex during this one, but while they are simulating it for the play, both can be seen smiling]). Chandler can no longer believe this was an accident and leaves Monica in Paris, returning to New York. After a few months cool down, Janice sells the restaurant and returns to New York as well, and runs into Chandler “by accident” at an open house in Dowisetrepla. The two are very happy and currently have two children with a third on the way.
Adam Scott was in both Parks and Recreation and Veep. Obviously this means that Ben Wyatt was so funny on the campaign trail that he was offered a job by NBC before he even took office. He declined, but since he had achieved all his goals as President in one term, there was no need for a second. With a fresh supply of free time, and with Leslie busy as first woman chancellor of the Directing Viable Data Analytics foundation, which sought to use big data to end world hunger, cure cancer, and formulate the perfect multinationally adored waffle recipe, Ben saw an opportunity. While Leslie was away during the day working at DVDA, Ben could stay home with their adopted children and biological grandchildren. When Leslie was at home, Ben could take some personal time to himself and host the Tonight show in Veep S6E9.
Matt Walsh was in both Veep and The League. Obviously this means that Mike McLintock had another life before he got into politics. He was an ordinary suburban dad who liked grilling and fishing and watched baseball, but then his son became known as the Oracle in The League S1E1 and everything changed. He was torn between his jealousy at being overshadowed by his son and his twofold desire for his son to be successful and to make money off this skill. The constant internal struggle eventually ripped him in half and he went on a bizarre spree inside a Wholefoods shoving every single stalk of Asparagus into his butt and running around the store screaming (for some reason) “ARUGULA ARUGULA ARUGULA.” When he left the psychiatric hospital, Mike had found a new zen approach to life through which he can take whatever life presents to him with peace and understanding. With his newfound power, Mike went into the most stressful job in the world (for a normal person): Selena Meyer’s press secretary.